Writer's Life 2010 into 2011

So the year 2010 is ending and 2011 is, thankfully in my case, rolling in without a blizzard. I must ask myself as a writer what have I accomplished in the year 2010? So, I will list my accomplishments from this past year even if they were just baby steps.

1.      I wrote a complete rough draft for my novel The Blood of Nature and Evil. However, this is a fantasy novel that should really be around 500 pages long and it was crammed into 250 pages due to time constraints for undergrad thesis. But hey, I got the skeleton all laid out now.

2.      I read out loud to a group of peers twice this year (and I didn’t take any type of medication before either of them).

3.      I roughly have a good start on my novel for my MFA program, My Kingdom for a Horse.

4.      I submitted two poems out but I am still waiting for replies.

5.      I started this blog and keep writing it, despite it seems to lack followers and comments.

Personally, I think I would accomplished a lot more if I wasn’t so distracted by the internet and the awesome anime series and AMVs on youtube.com. Anime and manga do offer me much of the fodder for my imagination outside of novels though.

So, what would I like to accomplish in my writer’s life in 2011? Read more novels. I spent a bulk of my time this past year reading manga. I will also start what I deemed “the dreaded rewrite” of The Blood of Nature and Evil and write more short stories. I will submit more stuff out I suppose as well so that I will have rejection letters to burn as well.

So readers, what would you like to accomplish in 2011 as a writer now that I have shared my goals?

What Does the Horse Give You?

People often ask a writer why they wanted to become a writer. In the case of all writers one reason is because we have stories inside us that we feel we must share with the world. If we don't record the story we feel it smothering within us. However, is there not a more specific reason within all writers? Is there not the main driving force that creates the stories within us? In other words, the source for our spirits and imaginations that enables us to create our stories.

For the longest time I could not tell a person what divine reason forced me to write. I would always say horses were one of my main inspirations, their gracefulness, strength, endurance, loyalty and legend have captivated me since I was child. I knew though, that there was an even more defining reason I wrote, but I could not express it in words.

The answer came to me from the poet, Louise Gluck, in my last semester of college in the Spring of 2010 in Modern Poetry class. We had to present a poem to the class and inform the other students what we thought about it. I chose Gluck's poem randomly out of search for a poem involving horses off of Google. The first two lines of the poem told me the reason I was writing: "What does the horse give you/ That I cannot give you?"

Finally, I had some words to express the driving force I have for writing. What does the horse give humans whose lives they touch? There is not a single word or sentence that can be termed a correct answer. My mission is to write stories that gives some sort of answer to this question.

Koi Kaze: Why my Novel Lead Me Here (Anime Review)

It is rather funny how so many things in a writer's vast range of interest can become connected together. While working on my novel, My Kingdom for a Horse, the fact my character, Kylie, has such a huge brother complex began to intrigue me so I decided to research the psychological effects of sibling complexes. I went to Google and typed in "brother complex" and what did my search lead me to? Listed on the first page of results was a link to Wikipedia about the anime Koi Kaze.

Koi Kaze is an emotionally and psychologically charged anime about two siblings who meet up with each other after being separated for around thirteen years after their parents divorced. Koshiro, at 27 years old has just recently broken up with his girlfriend and seems indifferent towards life, working at a matchmaking company and cohabitating with his father.

One day, he meets a young, bright girl schoolgirl on the train after she drops her school name tag. The blooming cherry blossoms, which float past them as he returns the girl’s pass is a symbolism of the fleeting happiness he feels in that moment. Coincidentally, or perhaps by fate, they run into each other later that day by an amusement park and offers her the tickets he won. The girl in her innocence invites him to join her. While they are riding the Ferris wheel, the two make a connection as they comfort each other over their ruined relationships. Koshiro begins to develop romantic feelings for the girl and is crushed when he discovers the girl, Nanoka, is his own sister who has come to live with him and their father.

Their complex relationship is beautifully captured in small moments in which a single word or action causes one of them to break the next barrier. The barriers society has placed on them.

Nanoka strives to form a relationship with her brother whom seems to have no interest at her at first. He is brusque with her and even yells at her to stop calling him "Onii-chan" (older brother). The truth is, Koshiro is smoldering with romantic feelings towards his little sister and is taking out his frustration on her. He verbally abuses her after she empties his trash in which he hid the evidence of his growing feelings. He tries in vain to remain uninterested in his sister's affairs but ultimately displays his jealousy when he tells her she "cannot have a boyfriend for another ten years" after Nanoka is walked home by a classmate. He even tells her she is “cute” which results in uneasiness in Nanoka, who is starting to develop feeling for Koshiro, and avoids him the next morning.

Nanoka becomes known for having a “brother complex” at school, and is constantly picked on by her friends for her immense interest in her brother. One of her friends senses something is amiss in her Nanoka’s life and keeps asking what he matter is, to which Nanoka replies to her that she would never understand.

Nanoka a few days later brings an envelope with documents to Koshiro’s work and waits for him so they can go home together. Walking home, he embraces her on the bridge, where is suspecting coworker, Chidori, sees them. Later that night, he asks his sister if she would like to sleep in his bed. Nanoka tells her brother she loves him and that she must be abnormal for telling him such a thing. She then tries to run out of his room. Koshiro, although he has vowed to be nothing more than her brother, embraces her. Nanoka becomes afraid and runs back to her own bedroom.

Koshiro moves two days later after he Nanoka sleep in the same bed, where Koshiro tells her they must never meet up again. Nanoka makes her brother a sweater for Christmas, and goes to his apartment to deliver it when Koshiro sees her. He hides in an ally with Chidori, who was planning on sleeping at his house because “his place was closer to work”. Chidori confronts him and calls him a pervert after learning about his feelings towards Nanoka.

In the package his sister left was a letter in which she wrote she still loved her brother and wanted to see him. Koshiro spends the next day in bed crying, “I want to see you to”. Nanoka shows up to his house later that day and when her brother opens the door, she falls on top of him, spilling the contents of her grocery bag.

Koshiro attends to his sister’s scraped knee, and goes out to buy things so they can make dinner. While he is gone, Chidori goes the apartment and tries to convince Nanoka Koshiro is dating her. Nanoka yells at Chidori and tells her to leave and that she wants her brother for herself.  Chidori passes by Koshiro, and asks why he did not send Nanoka away. Chidori sees they are both serious about each other and warns Koshiro “it will cut your parents to the quick”.

The siblings end up spending the night as lovers together, which included Koshiro making a midnight call to their unsuspecting father. The next day, they visit their mother, who is pleased to see her children together for the first time in over a decade. That same night, Nanoka asks her brother if they should commit a “lover’s suicide” together and it doesn’t matter as long as she is with him.

In the last episode they carve their names into a cherry tree and promise to meet up their every spring. Nanoka returns to her father’s house and Koshiro whispers, "I love you" as cherry blossoms drift by him.

So what did I learn about sibling complexes? That perhaps a deep sibling complex can result in romantic feelings and a mutually consenting sexual relationship. Society likes to look away from incest and pretend it does not exist, but it happens. Sometimes it is a consensual relationship between two adults. I do not condone incest, but from a psychological perspective I am able to understand why it may occur.

Koi Kaze honestly gives its viewers a taste of the feelings incestuous siblings may feel for each other. This complicated and somewhat incomprehensible relationship will drive viewers to feel both anger, sadness, happiness, and sorrow for Koshiro and Nanoka.

My characters do have brother-sister complex but it is not of a sexual nature. However, I was just given fodder for a new story because of my interest in what was driving Kylie.

Randomness of the First Blog

So today I came to work and discovered there really is no work! So I figured why shouldn't I start my new blog? This blog is sort of odd as it will cover my writing, equine and otaku lifestyle. Main blog posts will be about books and my writing process and any other odd ball things I come up with. Follow the tabs to the rest of the randomness!


I am a vomit drafter. Waiting until there is one week before the deadline definitely is not the smartest thing an MFA student should do. For some though, it works. I like the buildup of the pressure and finding different excuses to put off the writing until the very last moment. For those that have read the manga Junjo Romantica, I completely relate to the character Akihiko Usami. Usami often waits until the last minute causing his editor to have panic attacks. I give myself a panic attack in my case, though.


Once the pressure is built up enough, I abandon my other hobbies (except for my horse) to produce the pages and hopefully the right quality of writing needed for my novel, tentatively titled My Kingdom for a Horse. So far it seems to be working. My story is taking shape and I have been told that the relationships in my story work and the main character, Kylie, is a lovable "hoyden". 


While this fairytale fantasy novel is being abandoned for another couple of days I will be focusing on a newer work that is a secret!