When you Miss Your Own Heart

Today, as I was walking up my friend's endlessly steep driveway, I stopped to admire how the recent winds how drifted the snow into layers on the snowbanks. They reminded me of the layers of uneven frosting on the first birthday cake I had baked for myself. The feeling that arose in my heart as I stood breathing in the cold air can only be described as "connectedness".

The past twenty months I felt as if part of me disappeared. I have missed writing the way I used to.
I have missed my own heart.

I never thought I'd lose myself. But I did. I lost myself between looking for a "career starting position" and trying to balance a long distance intercultural relationship.

Two people in my life have constantly been telling me to write for a long time. However, my alignment with my secret heart (muse as others would call her) has been hard to bring back. I know she is in there between the horses, history and taste of Asia I keep in my soul.

Writers, you should never neglect your muse. She is like a garden of flowers. If you stop watering your flowers, they will die. Then, you will find yourself trying to save those flowers or planting new seeds. This is not a bad thing, though. Now I can add some new flowers to my field.

I hope they grow strong with brilliant colors.

Why I walk up that steep driveway.

Book Review: 1Q84

1Q84
Author: Haruki Murakami (translated by Jay Rubin and Philip Gabriel)
Published: Vintage International Oct 2011 in USA
Genre: Alternate Reality, Fantasy, Parallel Worlds
Rating: 5/5

My first venture into reading Japanese literature was Haruki Murakami's novel Norwegian Wood. Since then I have the works of Natsuo Kirino, Yoko Ogawa, Koushun Takami, Yukio Mishima and parts of historical texts including, "The Hojoki" and "Essays in Idleness". Murakami's tantalizing writing style brought me into a part of Japan's creative culture beyond the manga of my childhood. My copy of 1Q84 was purchased from the Kinokuniya store in Shinjuku. Whenever I feel nostalgic, I pull out one of the books I bought in Japan and begin reading.

The year is 1984 in Tokyo. Tengo is an aspiring writer who spends his time teaching at a cram school and writing. He leads a solitary life except for a few professional contacts. When he takes on the task of rewriting a manuscript his tranquil life begins to unravel. What if what you were writing had taken place in another reality? As Tengo's world changes he constantly thinks of the young girl he loved in elementary school.

Aomame has outcasted herself from her strict religious family. She spends her days working as a personal fitness trainer and completing tasks for one of her clients. Her world converges into another realm when she steps down the emergency ladder to the street below. She is no longer in 1984.

As their narratives intertwine between the parallel worlds, Murakami created an elegant portrayal of a romance connected through time, space and human emotions. Simply by taking the human feeling of "connectedness" and molding it Murakami has created an ambitious work of literature. His narrative and character development is exquisite and readers will become more invested with each page.

This novel is a must read for those who enjoy books with a mystical element. For those who enjoy the reading realms of both high fantasy and realistic fiction, this book maintains a balance you will surely enjoy.